"you're having a what?"

Thanksgiving was loud and raucous and so much fun. It was great to have the house full of noise and laughter again.

While helping me wash the dishes after dinner, Chad asked me an important and serious question. I was a bit taken aback and wasn’t sure how to respond so I asked if we could talk about it privately this week.

After Ashlee returned to college on Sunday, I had a few days to myself to formulate my answer. When I decided the appropriate thing to say, I called and invited Chad over.

We sat down in my living room and the conversation went as follows:

“I know you’ve patiently waited for my answer and I want to thank you for giving me some time to think about it. Honey, I’m not ready to say ‘yes’ quite yet but this isn’t a ‘no’ either,” I stated.

He looked at me strangely.

“I believe I’m having an existential crisis,” I said to him.

“You’re having a what? What makes you think that?” he asked seriously.

I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him, but I tried.

“For most of my life I’ve had to be…other people. Nick brought me back closer to who I was before everything happened to me but now, with his absence, I feel…how do I put this…lost and in limbo. I have so many emotions and feelings I’m trying my best to deal with. I honestly feel I need to get away from here for a while.” I hoped he’d understand.

“But honey…” he started to say and I interrupted him.

“I’ve booked a trip to India. I’ll be away for a while but I promise you I’ll be back and hopefully have a better grasp of things.”

He asked, “For how long?”

“Forty days,” I replied.

“Forty days?!” He was shocked. “Who are you going with?”

“No one. Just me. I leave January third.”

“Okay hold on here. You’re going to a foreign country you’ve never been to all alone for forty days?!” he asked.

“Yes,” I smiled.

“Alone?!” he asked again.

Historically, I’ve never traveled alone. I think this was pretty surprising news for him. He stood up and paced a little then sat back down.

“India? All right,” he nodded.

appreciation

Ashlee comes home on Tuesday and Chad volunteered to pick her up at the airport. He insisted.

I’ve been busy unpacking his things and putting his new house in order while he’s been extremely busy at work, for a change. Sometimes his minions can only do so much and then he, as the owner, has to get involved. His company suddenly being overwhelmed with business is a very good thing after the lean times from the Covid-19 pandemic.

His son Cole, who is in medical school, will be joining us for Thanksgiving as well. That was a bonus no one expected.

Chad stopped by late last night for dinner…

“God damn! What smells so good, Red?” he shouted as he walked through my door.

“Here. Try this,” I said as I held a spoon up to his lips.

He tasted the sauce from what I’d made. “That is one of the most delicious things I’ve ever had! Is there more of this?” He hunted around the stove top.

“It’s called what’s for dinner,” I snickered. “It’s Beef Burgundy. There’s homemade bread, too," I smiled.

“Wait…you actually MADE all this today?! When did you have time?” He seemed puzzled.

“I used Ronnie’s recipe and added a few of my own ingredients.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “And this is dinner on a random Thursday night at your house. Why am I not moving in here again?” he snickered.

What he said made me laugh. “Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Would you open the wine?”

Okay so yes…I took the time to make dinner after cleaning out some of his boxes today. I’ve learned to really enjoy cooking. Appreciation for what I take time to make makes me like it even more.

i could have been wrong

Chad has kept me very busy daily with all this moving of his.

After not being around him for three years, I’d forgotten just how comfortable our relationship has always been.

We have been through a lot together: dating, breaking up, spouses, ex-spouses, and one dead spouse. We’ve both watched each other’s kids grow up. We have, in fact, known each other for most of our lives. Even when we have a fallout and part ways, we always somehow tend to find each other again.

After spending a great deal of time together lately, Chad decided to say out loud what he’d been hinting at over the past several days.

“You’re my best friend, Red. You always have been – even when we were dating. You have no idea how much I missed this: just being around you. I’d like you to give some sincere thought to maybe moving forward from all this ‘just being friends’ to somethin’ more (he paused) permanent.” He said it with all sincerity.

I looked up at him. Before I could respond…

"When you’re ready, of course. No pressure,” he sheepishly smiled.

I simply smiled but was torn on how to respond. So...I didn't say anything.

Admittedly, Ashlee, you may have been right about him and moving on with life.

six

It’s been a busy week of self-care and helping Chad move. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it wasn’t.

The sixty-five boxes of his prized comic book collection are currently residing in my living room while the painter finishes his interior. The new furniture he asked me to help pick out for him should arrive the week after Christmas. I purchased a gift for his new house which I won’t divulge here yet.

When Chad closed on the new house he was given two keys. He gave me one for, quote, “safe keeping”. Uh huh. He had no idea what he’d just done. <smirk>

“Red,” he began with a grin, “my boys want to spend Thanksgiving with me. The new house will still be in flux and I have to be out of the old place by November 30. I wondered, if it’s not too much trouble, would you be willing to host it at your place this year?”

I smiled. “Sure!” I was happy he’d asked.

Later that day Ashlee called and asked if she could come home for Thanksgiving.

“Of course, honey!” I replied. “Just a heads up that Chad and his boys will be here too. I thought you were going to (the boyfriend’s) parents?”

“Nope! I decided we’re through,” she replied very matter of fact.

Well…okay then. I can’t say I’m disappointed because I’m not.

So that’s six for Thanksgiving dinner.

trick or treat

“Aren’t you a little long in the tooth for Trick or Treat, Junior?” I snickered as I realized I’d just opened the door to Chad dressed as Indiana Jones for Halloween.

“Don’t call me Junior!” he smirked as he stepped inside.  

His Indy costume is as old as the original movie and yet he still looks fantastic in it. I think it’s the hat.

“Don’t you have some girl out there waiting for you to charm her while you’re wearing that?” I laughed.

He just grinned. “I’m trying like hell, Red, but I don’t think she’s paying attention!”

Just then the doorbell rang.

“Here,” I handed him the treat bowl. “Give the neighborhood kids a thrill!” I smiled and walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

I probably should have told him the doorbell would ring non-stop for the next two hours. But why ruin my idea of fun.